My fiancé and I recently moved in together. Before that, the last time I had shared a living space was in college. My memories are full of awkward situations and longing for alone time.
In Korea, I lived alone for 3 years and loved it. My personality is geared for lots of “ME” time!
So when the time came for us to move in together, I must admit I was a bit nervous. I shared my worries with my fiancé, assuring him that it was my nature and had nothing to do with him. I had been very used to my own space and sharing that space 24/7 with another person was going to be a challenge.
Let me state that moving in with your significant other is very telling of who you truly are!
Most of the time you hear that moving in together will test the relationship, how strong you two are as a couple. For us, we already knew we were a strong couple and 100% committed. I personally wouldn’t recommend using moving in together as some sort of “test”. I feel you two should be past the “test” point and on to the “We are IN this together point” by the time you “shack up”.
I can’t imagine how awkward it would be to be unsure about my relationship and sharing my LIVING space.
Moving in together is so telling because it shows you how sacred (or not sacred lol) your living space is. Your habits, quirks, and faults all become very apparent. For me, I need things to be a certain way.
Yes, I am the stereotypical female partner that is particular about things being put away and in their proper place. Let’s just say my poor fiancé has a ton of eye-roll and ‘Seriously?!’ moments.
For me, my living space needs to be clean, simple and welcoming. Compromising on how we spend money, what to eat, who’s driving, who’s taking out the trash etc is easy. But compromising on how to arrange and maintain the apartment, is harder than it sounds.
One of our biggest disagreements is with indoor vs. outdoor clothes. If you watched my “Boyfriend Girlfriend Tag” video on YouTube, you know I can be mildly germophobic. In the video I expressed disgust for cellphones on the bed because of how filthy they are.
Naturally this issue came up again when we started cohabiting! In my mind, clothes worn outside (to the store, work, movies, etc) should be removed before getting on or in the bed. When this doesn’t happen I feel extremely anxious and uncomfortable.
My fiancé is very accommodating (not without a side-eye look of course 😂) but sometimes I know it was trying.
Very truthfully speaking, most of the issues that came up were because of me! I realized that my time living alone made me quite particular about things whereas my fiancé, although a clean guy (Thank God!), is much more relaxed.
Okay, so there are definitely some hurdles of moving in together that we are still dealing with but, what about the good?
While it may seem like a superficial thing, one aspect that my fiancé and I did agree on was the theme and look of the apartment. I think this is very important! Both of us really wanted a minimalist look, with clean whites, natural earth tones and touches of greenery. We are creating a vibe that sits well with us both!
I think that clashing views of what the space should look like AND how to live in it would be too much and a clear sign that cohabitation may not be the best move.
The best thing about cohabitation is that my best friend is always there. After a long day of work, or on the weekends, we no longer need to Skype for two hours or take long bus rides to see each other. Having that special someone to share the good, bad and ugly with is a gift that I never want to take for granted.
So the truth about moving in together is, it’s just another lesson in life and in your relationship. We are two different human beings who made a decision to share our existence together. We have to make a conscious decision and effort to blend our lives in order to preserve its precious being.